


Guilt is a weapon of self destruction

by kastiyana



Series: Not proud, but happy [4]
Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bruce is utterly done with his friends problems, F/M, Infidelity, M/M, Steve and Loki are bffs, girl talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-22
Updated: 2013-05-22
Packaged: 2017-12-12 14:40:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/812717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kastiyana/pseuds/kastiyana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“So, is just like that, you just ‘desire’ her”, the artist asked</p><p>“I expressed myself wrongly. I desire her body, yes, I admit it. But I also desire her intellect, her personality, her essence.”</p><p>“I don’t know how do you see it”, Steve  opined “but where I come from that is called being in love”.</p><p>“Well, maybe that is what it is”, Loki accepted with resignation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Guilt is a weapon of self destruction

**Author's Note:**

> I'm very happy with this one. I tried so hard to edit any grammar mistake (even so if you find one please let me know)  
> I want to write the story of Tony and Steve getting together and one more Loki/Jane scene. So stay tuned

"The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it...  
I can resist everything but temptation."  
Oscar Wilde

 

Loki turned the page and stopped there, feeling suddenly observed. He looked across the few tables in front of him, the people eating their pasta, the rumors filling the air and his glance stood in the tall, athletic figure pacing outside the little restaurant. Steve walked in circles, facing the floor, talking to himself and enhancing in Loki a malefic desire to tease him.

The artist lifted his eyes and looked inside . Loki waved at him making his stomach jump. Then he noticed a figure standing by his side, holding the door for him and saying with a apologetic smile.

“Loki invited me, he said you might need a third objective point of view”

“Oh, man, thank God you are here”

Bruce smiled to him and then they approached together to the corner where the English student waited. loki closed the Oscar Wilde book, adjusted his glasses and greeted.

“But what an enormous pleasure to see you, Bruce, Steven”. Both men sat, one feeling incredibly awkward - as he always did in social situations - and the other wanted to just disappear.

“I took the liberty of ordering a huge plate of cannolis to share and a bottle of red wine ”

“Is a bit early for drinking, don’t you think?”, Bruce inquired and Steve responded.

“In fact I think I need a drink to get through this”

“So, you and Tony Stark”, Loki started to shoot and Steve put his kicked puppy expression that almost made his friend feel guilty. 

Almost.

“And you and Jane”, the blond stuttered, trying to flip the situation.

“Who is this Jane?”, Bruce asked.

“Don’t try to change the subject, Steven”, Loki retorted bitterly.

“Are you talking about Jane? Jane Foster?, as Jane our friend? my co worker in the lab?” Bruce continued,

“I think ‘that’ is also a subject we need to discuss”, Steve remarked.

“You lied to me, Steven, and poorly must I add. You were lucky I was so distracted to even notice your charade”

“So, it is this Jane, the same Jane going out with Thor... with your brother”, the chemist rubbed his forehead making an effort to understand.

“Exactly!”, Steve confirmed, “see? you are in trouble, young man”

“There is no need for you to publish it”, Loki barked, warning tone, clenched knuckles.

“Oh, please, Tony saw you last night. What more publicity do you need”

“Tony saw what?, Tony knows about this and he didn’t tell me?” Bruce asked letting his hands fall on the table, heavily. “Well”, he added when he saw Loki’s expression, “you have to admit that if Tony knows, is a miracle is not in the New York Times headlines already”.

“Tony knows when to keep a secret”, Steve defended him.

“When is something about him, mostly”

“Enough! we need order, otherwise I don’t know why you wanted me here”. Bruce interrupted, giving them “the look”. That menacing, killer look that warned he was about to get angry and smash them both with the longest lecture of their lives. The two friends shut up and listened. 

“I knew about Steve and Tony, I can see why is weird for you” pointed to Loki, “because we have all know each other since high school, but you have to admit it was predictable, Steve had always cared for Tony and Tony was smart enough to notice and choose what is best for him. Now...”

Loki prepared himself.

“Jane is new in the gang. She has been Tony’s and my friend long ago and when she met Thor we were ok with the idea of her dating one of our old friends. She likes him and he ‘adores her’”. Loki rolled his eyes, he knew all that already. Irrelevant.

“But I have noticed she is distracted and I’ve noticed too that she was losing her interest in Thor and then it was very easy to deduce there was someone else in her life and I thought that if she liked this new guy and she was happy, then I would be happy for her, even if Thor suffered for a while... but I never guessed, or imagined that it was you”. 

Loki sighed. He knew what was coming. 

“You are his brother”

“And we thought you were gay”, Steve added, hurt. And with that Loki understood, feeling somehow relieved. Steve was upset because Loki lied to him about his sexuality and because he hid information from him and not because he was cheating on his brother. Loki could deal with that.

“I am Pansexual in fact”, Loki clarified. “I am attracted to women as well. I’ve been seeing lots of men in the latest months, I know, but I haven’t lost my ability to desire a woman after all”

“So, is just like that, you just ‘desire’ her”, the artist asked, “that’s why you wanted to get away from her so she can be ok, and that’s why you bought her a red rose and invited her dinner...”

“You did what?”, Bruce asked, almost screaming. Loki was being romantic. He definitely was in the twilight zone.

“I expressed myself wrongly. I desire her body, yes, I admit it. But I also desire her intellect, her personality, her essence.”

“I don’t know how do you see it”, Steve opined “but where I come from that is called being in love”.

“Well, maybe that is what it is”, Loki accepted with resignation.

“I think I am going to need a cup of wine after all”, Bruce groaned for his friends's amusement.

 

_____________________

“So”, Tony started with his trademark mocking tone. “How it went your girl-talk with you BFF”.

“Jealous?”, Steve retorted and Tony seemed surprised with the roughness and cynicism in his voice. The old Steve he knew was not like that, surely it was a bad habit learned from Loki, or himself, but let us say that is Loki's fault.

“Absolutely not, but as far as I recalled I used to be your best friend”

Steve leaned closer to him, feeling the heat of his body and whispered.

“You are more than that now”. He was breathing so close to Tony’s ear, his lips almost caressing his skin. The Brunet closed his eyes preparing himself for a little action, but it never came. That teaser... 

“And besides, is good to have a friend who actually is interested in what I do and understands it, to talk with”, the artist added.

“So, this thing with you and Mr. Hipster is some kind of an artsy collaboration?”

“No, we are friends, we tell each other our problems, we trust each other”. And at that point, Steve is not so sure anymore, but he doesn’t want to make another scene about it and definitely not in front of Tony.

“So, I don’t have to worry about him”

Steve set his eyes on him, trying to suppress a smile.

“I knew you were jealous”, he looked around, as usual, even if he knew nobody was looking. They were in Tony’s fancy car, Jarvis was driving, there was a barrier between them and the chauffeur cabin and the windows were tinted, but he couldn’t just relax. He took Tony’s face between his large hands and kissed him softly. The engineer tried to deepen and add some heat to the kiss, but Steve managed to calm him down with a soothing caress in his nape, running his fingers through his black hair.

“He didn’t care about you being a man or me being... homo”

“Because you are not, you just like me, besides, Loki is not an archetype of heterosexuality or normality whatsoever”

“But I used to be so normal...”, Steve whispered, so close, rubbing Tony’s lips.

“You are normal, honey, there is nothing wrong with you and you have to understand that soon, even if your father planted in you the idea that being a man meant to be a drunk savage womanizer”

“Like you were”, Steve teased and Tony chuckled.

“Exactly and you can see that even so, that didn’t grant me to be all straight”

Steve nodded, closing his eyes and tightening their embrace.

“What I mean with this”, Tony explained, “ is that I love you and I think you do the same and we are good, we are normal, got it?”

“I’m getting it”

“Great, now, tell me which movie do you want in the background while I ravage your mouth and touch your intimate parts?”

And Steve had to laugh loudly at that. And every time he did, every time he showed how happy he was because of something he did, Tony felt like a champion. And that was the best sensation ever.  
_________________

Steve heard the knocking. Someone was playing drums with his door. It was the bridge of a Radiohead song. He smiled and waited until it was finished and then opened the door giving to his guest an applause.

“Thank you”, Loki said smiling to him. “Does this mean we are ok?”

“I would say we are even. I am sorry that I lied to you, and I’m sorry that I assumed you were with a guy. I guess that I didn’t pay enough attention to your preferences. I prejudged you” 

“Fair enough. I accept your apology and I apologize as well for not being sincere with you”. Steve expression lighten when Loki added, “you deserve my trust, Steven, you should never be lied to and... by the way, that thing in your neck looks like an mark of a scandalous night”. 

Steve blushed putting a hand in said place, but he laughed so Loki guessed the joke was accepted as such.

“I was afraid you felt disappointed of me, for being with a man...”

“If I was to get disappointed of you for anything It would be because, among so many decent men to choose, you had to pick Tony Stark. But no... I’m not disappointed, however, I must admit I feel an rare mix of pride for you sexual awakening... and horror”

“You’ll get used to it”

They entered to the kitchen to prepare coffee. The silence between them was never uncomfortable. Steve set the cups and the cookies his mom made for him in a plate, while Loki hummered “I will possess your heart”, with sentiment. Steve shook his head and asked.

“This will be your theme song now?”

“It appears it will be, do you like it?”

“I always like the music you introduce to me, but the subject here is not the song”. Loki nodded and Steve asked carefully. “Are we ever going to talk this out?”

“Of course, right now, if you are up to”. Loki answered.

“Good, can I sketch you while we talk?”

“Yes, and thank you” the English student said grabbing his cup and eating a cookie. Steve sat in front of him with his sketch book in his lap and invited his friend to talk waving his hand. Loki coughed, adjusted his glasses on the bridge of his nose and began.

“You’ll see, it was unexpected. When I first saw her she was...”


End file.
